I saw you there in Paris
in the bistros on All Souls Day
with all the other sons
sitting in the afternoon sun
beside their mothers
having a holiday cafe noir
with their cher mama
and I saw you sitting there beside me too.
I saw you there in Paris
when I walked the Champs-Elysees
and I knew how much you would have adored it.
And I saw you in the eyes of the children
playing with the boats in the fountains
in the Jardin des Tuileries,
eyes that reflected you as a child
and I as a child
both loving
both beloved.
And I saw you in the yellow kitchen
in Monet’s house
and reflected in the light
of his pond
beside the lilies.
I saw you there in Paris
in the words on the tomb
in the cemetery at Montmartre
which read,
“You lit (illuminated) all our lives, dearest mother”.
And I saw you there in Paris
shining in the eyes of my beloved
for she loves life as completely
and as fully as did you.
And I saw you there in Paris
when in the Louvre
I happened to see a reflection of myself
and knew that, if I have been able to love myself at all,
enough for even the very primal need to survive,
I owe it foremost to you.
As I looked into my own eyes
and I saw yours staring back at me,
loving me as only you could.
I saw you there in Paris
beside me
and I missed you so…
11/9/99